I Pretend I'm Alright
by redwolfproductions
Summary: After being partners with Ben for over a year, Rook knows his real feelings for him, but he also knows that the feeling isn't mutual. No matter how much he pretends, he knows he isn't alright. One-shot.


I pretend I'm alright, but I'm not.

My name is Rook Blonko. I'm a Revonnahgander from the planet Revonnah. I am now stationed on Earth, though, because I have decided to follow the path of becoming a Plumber. I have gone through tremendous training to become a Plumber, and I could have never guessed or expected to become the great Ben Tennyson's partner.

But I did.

I wasn't sure what to think of the younger male at first, though. He was very strange to me. He was ignorant at times, and he seemed to have no training, but much more experience then me. I thought that I could learn much from him, but I feel much frustration around him.

Why do I feel such frustration around Ben, though? Sure, he is at times arrogant, but he isn't a bad partner. In fact, I would go as far as to call him my friend.

Ben is tall for human standards, and he is considered handsome. This must be why many females on Earth fan over Ben so. However, what I believe is most striking about Ben is his eyes. Never before have I seen such green eyes. On Revonnah, green eyes are considered extremely rare. I myself have never seen green eyes before, and never have I seen such dark and gorgeous green colored eyes.

I have always liked Ben. After all, I have looked up to him even before I was a Plumber. And even though he didn't meet up to what most of the legends suggested, he is and always will be my hero.

However, something has changed.

Not matter how much I wish it not true, or how much I wish for me to please my family, I now know that I am in love with Ben Tennyson.

And no matter how much I love him, I know that the feeling is not mutual. And every day that passes by that I see Ben passing by, being the way he is, is like a stab to the chest. Knowing that he is looking at women or that women are looking at him makes me feel horrible and sick inside.

I always feel sick. More then once I have called in sick days. I know it is wrong, and this makes me feel even more horrible knowing that I'm leaving Ben on his own, but some days I can't even bring myself to come to work, let alone see Ben's warm and loving face.

Others, being Ben or Magister Max Tennyson, will often check on me when I'm 'sick', but I always play it off fine.

I pretend I'm alright, but I'm not.

* * *

Today is an Earth celebration of couples.

Hooray. How 'fun'.

I believe this day is called 'Valentines Day'. I have only been on Earth once before for this, so this would be my second Valentines Day on Earth.

Once this day rolled around, I seriously considered returning to Revonnah for the next week, but I stayed strong and decided to stay. Just in case any danger came around that I needed to be around for.

Well, the truth was, the only danger that was around was everything else.

Just like the last Valentines Day, there were couples everywhere. And they did what 'normal' couples did. Which was mainly just show affection towards each other.

And this was a day that I would never forget, and a lesson that I would also never forget.

Ben and I walked down the street, away from the Mr. Smoothies. I had that expression on my face. It was the same expression that I normally just had in privacy, and when I was thinking deeply about what I couldn't have, but had always wanted. And for the first time ever, Ben had noticed this.

While I looked down and completely out of it, Ben looked over at me. "Rook? You alright?"

Instantly, I regained my normal look and put on a fake smile. "Yes. I am alright."

A lie that I made all too often. And a lie that Ben easily fell for every time.

And that was when I felt as if instead of being stabbed in the chest, I had been stabbed right in the heart. Right before us came none other then Ester. The same woman that Ben had been dating for over four months.

I just stood there in a complete daze, my feet frozen to the ground. I watched as the one person I truly loved ran towards his girlfriend, embracing her in a tight hug and twirling her around in a circle. She squealed with delight, something that made the blade dig deeper into my chest.

Once Ben set her down on the ground, he planted his lips onto hers, something that always made me almost stop breathing completely.

I didn't hate Ester. And I didn't so much as dislike her, either. Sometimes, though, I couldn't help but wanting to be her. And I sometimes couldn't help but wondering what she had that I didn't. Was it that she was female and that I was male? Or was it something much more?

As the two held each other tightly and laughed, I couldn't help but feeling useless. Why was I there? I was unnoticed, casted aside.

Swallowing hard, I turned on my heels and walked away quickly, before Ben or Ester could notice me leaving. I couldn't stand staying there for a moment longer. Just so much as thinking about it was slowly killing me on the inside.

Perhaps I should have just gone back to Revonnah. And perhaps I could have talked to Rook Shar about the whole thing. Sure, Rook Da would have shunned me for such feelings, but I knew my sister would have thought differently.

But I knew better. I couldn't leave, now. I had to stay and live with this.

All I could do was walk away, completely alone.

I pretended I was alright, but I wasn't.

* * *

_I look back on all my Ben x Rook fan fictions and see that they all are about each other liking each other and turning out to love each other. Please don't shoot me for saying this, but there needed to be a fan fiction about one loving the other and the other not loving them back. And, after listening to some sad love music, I felt inspired to write this. As you can see, Rook loves Ben, but Ben doesn't feel the same way._

_And this is also the first fan fiction I have written where it is in Rook's voice, or any person's voice for that matter. I'm not that great at doing first person, so don't kill me, please._

_Ben 10 Omniverse (c) Cartoon Network_


End file.
